This week leading up to Xmas has been somewhat hectic… This time of year is always like this though so I should be used to it by now eh? This year I haven’t really been in too much of a festive mood but I’m not full-blown Scrooge. I guess I’m somewhere in-between but leaning more on “Humbug”

In the battle of which is more depressing…Christmas or New Years, I’d have to say New Years wins the prize FOR SURE. New Years (for me) has always been a time of reflection and in all honesty, reflecting on 2007 is not something I’m looking forward to.

I try to be optimistic and look on the bright side of life as much as I can but this year has been a challenge for me. I’m not going to Tippy-Toe around anything this year or just allude to it being a bad year…there’s no denying the year has sucked when it comes to “music life”… Sure, I know that just by “sticking with it”, the good stuff usually cycles back around… but as time goes on it gets more exhausting and harder to look at things with a straight face. I worry that looking back on the last year is going to make me reevaluate things. I’m not sure I wanna “go there” right this second but I am starting to feel somewhat defeated. [Cue the violins]

In the past when I’ve been in this sort of funk, I usually just convert it into a song somehow as a twisted form of therapy, but over time I’ve been building up a higher tolerance to “musical medication” - perhaps I just need a new concoction so it’ll work again…who knows.

I think in the upcoming year, I need to be more of an ass. Everyone knows where the nice guys end up.

Sure…this journal entry is a little bit of a downer. There’s been many times in the last few months where I’ve written this same sort of post and immediately deleted it before posting [this has slowed my blogging down to almost a complete Stop]. So now to fix this, I think I’ll just write more but cut loose on what I’m really thinking. Mainly, I’m just not going to keep pretending everything is fantastic. It’s clogging my brain.

What’s strange about all this is…other areas of my life(non-musical) seem to going really well. Now if I could just blend the two and find some sort of balance.