Damn,… June FLEW BY. July 1st already. I’ve been slacking off on my journal these last few weeks… more like these last few months. I used to write religiously every day even if I had nothing to say. It’s not that I don’t have things to say these days… maybe it’s that I’ve already said it before?

I started blogging back in 2001 on LiveJournal and then made the switch to here back in 2004. Anyone who keeps a blog for more than 6 years knows it can be tricky to keep the romance alive in the blog-relationship. I guess in any sort of relationship… it’s nice to have some time away. I still love to write… and I always will in one way or another but for now, I need to rekindle my blog spark [maybe i need to get kinky or something]

Off subject..My damn Birthday is coming up on Friday. I can’t stand my own birthdays and I know I’m not alone. I actually forgot how old I was going to be and then once I figured it out, I wished I hadn’t. I really have no choice but to embrace getting older but this isn’t easy. Some days, I still feel like I’m 19 with the world at my feet and other days I feel like I’m up to my armpits in quicksand. This is all part of life I suppose.

Luckily, I have older friends that make me feel young… but the one valuable lesson I’ve learned from having older friends is that they too still feel like teenagers at times. I know that whoever I am today, I’ll still be thinking the same thoughts when I’m 60. Question is…It that something I want?

Getting older might be a little easier if I weren’t doing the whole “starving artist” thing and the older I get I wonder how much longer I can keep it up before I switch modes and try another career path. Something needs to happen soon…I’m starting to think that I need to give myself a deadline of some sort.

Sure, I’ve had some success in Music but since I’m being honest with myself…I really have no fucking clue what else I would do if I weren’t doing Music. Having a safety net to fall back on was never part of the plan–not very smart on my part. Whatever happens down the road… I’ll have at least had blog documentation of the journey no matter where it leads. Still… it can be slightly depressing knowing that time is running out. May as well enjoy the moments while they happen but it’s still not a good enough reason to enjoy my birthday